This has been a year of weddings. A friend from college got married to kick off 2010, one of my teenagers got married in February, C.’s sister is getting married this June, a cousin of mine is getting married this July, a college friend will be married mid-July, plus my college roommate is getting married at the end of July. As a result- I think about weddings quite a bit.
The wedding industry is ridiculous. And lucrative. They tell you about all these things you need to have: rehearsal dinner, rehearsal outfit, coordinating bridesmaid dresses, save-the-date cards, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, engagement parties, bridal showers, place cards, programs, venues, photographers, videographers, musicians, favors, centerpieces, etc. The fact that all those came to mind without pause should be an indication of just how much time and money can be spent on the wedding stuff.
Now, many of you know that I’m a planner at heart. I like organizing things. And you probably also know that I’m frugal. I hate spending more money than I need to. I just hate spending money in general. So, when it comes to events, like weddings, that can eat up lots of your money, I do my best to cut costs where I can. Often, planning ahead can save you money- when doing last minute rushing around you’re more likely to spend lots of money just to get something done. Plus, I want a level of excellence associated with my efforts- not, “S. is known for doing things in a so-so fashion because she waits until the last minute.” Yes, part of this post is about my ego.
Sadly, there is an upcoming wedding where my well-meaning, frugal self is being thwarted. I’m attempting to plan some festivities for the bride; however, the other people assigned to the task are less than responsive. It’s like a group project for school and the group is doomed because there’s that one kid in your group who is never available to get together and work on the project- either because they just don’t want to or are legitimately busy.
So, here’s my situation: I’ve tried asking my co-planners if they need help with anything, but I hear nothing back. They don’t respond over half the time when I’ve asked for input. They don’t respond when I’ve made suggestions about favors, themes, food, price, etc. How can I plan a fun time without either a) taking over, since I’m not the maid of honor and the girl that is relishes her title or b) waiting until the last minute to realize nothing is done, thus causing unnecessary costs and stress?
My hilarious friend M., who knows all sorts of things about weddings, their traditions, etiquette, etc. had this to say:
I think it’s imperative that you’re up front with your budget – this is what i would say to her:
Dear MOH,
Lookie here, strawberry shortcake, being an MOH isn’t all fun and games, so here’s my budget and here’s the time that I can help. If you can’t get your act together to plan these things, don’t come crying to me.
Love,
S.Or at least that’s what I would say in my head. In real life, I would run around like a crazy person picking up all the pieces and pulling things together so that everyone was happy.
So, is that it friends? Is becoming a last-minute crazy person the polite course of action? Or do I just need to calm down and let go? Am I such a psychopath that you read this post and you’re wondering what my problem is?
Maybe you just need to punch a baby and move on.