Since turning 22 or so, I have had difficulty remembering my age. This does not bode well for when I’m older and senile.
I don’t know what’s so hard for me to remember. For exactly the first half of any year, I am one age. For the second half, I am another. Yet whenever people ask my age, I have to do some math, which is not good considering my poor math skills. Usually, I’m just happy knowing I’m somewhere in my late-20′s. Perhaps my inability to remember my age is linked to my ambivalence regarding my birthday and associated celebrations. Heh.
Anyway, recently I have started to feel old. Not because my body is breaking down or my memory is fading- but because of the people around me.
One of my former students, who is now a freshman in college, got engaged. Engaged! Yay! I’m very happy for her because I think it’s a healthy relationship and the guy is great and they’re waiting a couple of years to get married. Nevertheless, one of my students is engaged! When did she get old enough to be engaged!? Then, as I was browsing through Facebook the other night, I saw that another of my former students had gotten married. Married! Yet I remember being a leader in youth group when he was a junior in high school.
Meanwhile, one of my other students had a baby. A baby! The baby is beautiful and she has a doting and capable mother. Yet, the fact that one of my students is now a mom is an obvious reminder that I am getting older.
Now I realize that all of these young folk are, well, young. They got engaged/married/pregnant while they were young. Nevertheless, I know that this will continue happening. More and more of my former students are going to announce that they are engaged/married/pregnant.
I’m not sure yet how this impacts me. I’m not freaking out about getting older, or anything like that. No mid-life crisis so far. However, it seemed worth recognizing that I am getting older. My (former) students are getting older. What does that mean? Should I be acting more grown up? What does that even mean? What kind of role do I have in the lives of former students who are becoming capable adults? Do I have a role at all? At what point does a leader-mentor become simply a friend?
